I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
Recently while reading a book, reading the word and listening to sermons, the main question that has challenged me; 'is Christ my first love?'
That is so challenging because straight away I know how short I fall in putting Christ first. I have an excuse for falling short; I haven't the energy to put Him first.
My fleshly self prefers to be anxious and fretful and then to depend on the wrong people or things.
My put first list in no particular order; hubby, son, friends, internet, gadgets, food and the list could could on.
For example I've put gadgets before Christ, I remember a number of years ago talking to my hubby about a new mobile phone; his reply to this was that I didn't need one and neither could we afford one. I got it into my head that life couldn't go on without it. Obsession and desire took over and I went and bought one. Now it fulfilled a desire for less than a week, and then I realized it didn't fill that gaping void at all. Only Christ can fill that gaping hole in our lives.If I had put Him first the mobile phone could have waited until I had saved up for it. Also I wouldn't have gone against my husband's wishes.
The main problem; I was distracted by worldly things that I thought would fulfill my every desires and even made excuses for e.g, at least its not an iPhone as if that justified the sin. But who do I think I am making up the rules . Nothing justifies committing sin. I need to constantly come before Jesus and surrender all, repent of my sin and move forward in my faith.